I'm Back

Yes I'm back and hoping that this time I can keep this little blog going.

Over the last couple of years its been very difficult to find the motivation to do much in the way of blogging or writing for a lot of reasons but over the last few weeks I have seen some light at the end of the tunnel.

That's not to say I didn't write anything, because I did, and I published another two books but I think publishing five books so quick knocked the literal stuffing from me. 

With a total of seven out there and one more being edited, I now feel more like my old self with a new drive to be creative every day.

This is not a new years resolution because I've felt like this for the last couple of weeks and have been putting this into practice. So its onward's and upward's from here. Do something each day, write, edit, design, anything to push forward with projects.

Some days this will not be possible, but the trick here is to form a habit and stick to it without it becoming a chore and without punishing myself for not doing anything some days. I'm hoping if I keep up the habit it will lead to no more bouts of writers or creative block.

No targets, no deadlines, just a will and a want to push projects towards completion 

Who would have thought it !

Who would have thought it !

Six years have passed since the first book came out and six years later there are 6 very different stories on sale. Some are free and that is to try and encourage readers to download a copy and enjoy the experience of reading a book.

For a moment I stepped back and took stock and thought about where the next idea and book were coming from. There are many thoughts, notes and partially written tales that may never see the light of day. That is the life of a writer.

Is this it? Will there be more? No and Yes there are plenty more stories to come but for now I am working hard on developing new stories, improving ideas and finishing the best product possible for your enjoyment. Watch this space

Focus - None !

This is what its like to be a writer with too many ideas and all of them jumping around all at once. Focus is something I struggle with on a daily basis just trying to stay with one story at a time but its something I need to train myself to be better at.

Some writers are lucky that all they do is write. They have the ability to support themselves through their art where others must hold down daily jobs and try and write in snippets of spare time. It becomes harder to maintain the spark to get what needs to be done, done.

Not only are you juggling ideas, your juggling time. In that respect I've struggled the most and consequently I haven't written, edited or even read a word for about three weeks. Today I am getting back on that horse and reading over something I started a while back, with a view to writing more and getting back onto this juggernaut that is writing !  

Why is it so hard for people to accept others are happy?

A few weeks ago after a bad few days where everything got to me and ground me down I decided No More !! I was absolutely at an emotion rock bottom where other peoples actions ruled my day and wore it down until I just couldn't take anymore.

So I made a decision.. to be happy.

To wake each morning and smile.

To smile my way through the day and not let anything or anyone change that outlook, no matter what that day threw at me. Be true to myself !

Sounds easy doesn't it. Try it, it's not.

Thing is once the decision was made it was almost like a switch in my brain was thrown from one side to the other. Since that day I have oozed happiness. I have reacted positively to every set back, brushed most of, others I have laughed where as a few weeks ago I would have fumed. I haven't smiled 24/7 but I haven't been glum or miserable. I would describe it as a new found sense of levelness with many hours of happiness.

However it seems my happiness doesn't rub off on others in the main. Most ask, What are you on?

What new pills are you taking?

I'm not !!

Some even say, stop it. Stop being happy. WHY ???

Few believe that I made a conscious decision but I don't care, I will continue on my own path. Walk my own way and be true to myself.

I am the sum of my battles, my scars and my new changing attitude to life. It takes more courage to smile and let things go than it does to be angry with things that you cannot change. Why waste that energy when you can use it positively

So smile !! Life really is too short for anything else

Highway code for walkers

Seriously some people need lessons in walking !! Go to a busy street, find a safe place to watch from, stop and just watch the chaos.  

People unlike motor vehicles don't walk in straight lines. They are constantly wandering off at all angles, tangents in weave in and out of other walkers. You are more likely to get "cut up" by a walker than a car sometime multiple times a day.

Walkers listening to music, staring transfixed at their phones, chatting to a fellow shopper, walking at different speeds, everyone is literally a hazard to be avoided.  

Today I witnessed someones walker rage first hand and for a change it wasn't directed at me but at someone who walked out of a shop door straight into a person who was walking down the street minding their own business. No one looks they just step out, yet you wouldn't do that in a vehicle or on a push bike. Literally handbags at six paces but neither would apologise to the other or admit they were in the wrong.

This happens everyday yet people mill around and rely on others to move out of the way. It seems these days if you are the stronger you walk in your way and everyone else responds accordingly. What the hell happened to all of us?

We need taught at a young age how to respect each other even when doing such a simple task as walking !

They say you make your own luck !

They, the people, say you make your own luck anyone who knows me knows that I don't have the greatest of luck. Its very rare that I win a raffle, a lottery prize or that any thing goes my way however sometime, just sometime a day like yesterday comes along.

1. I stepped on the scales and realised I'd lost close to a stone and a half in about a month. That put me in an absolutely awesome mood and I felt a rush of determination to keep going and lose more to hopefully help ease some aches and pains.

2. I opened a piece of mail from Scottish Gas expecting a letter about the price cuts that are expected in June. However what I got was a refund for gas already bought due to a faulty meter and the promise that a future refund will also be due as the meter cant be fixed for a few months - WOW money back from an energy supplier - what ever next ???

3. I took a header (A fall) from the top of three steps (three and a lip really) flat onto concrete. Now how is this lucky, well I escaped with a few grazes, couple of bruises and sore shoulders as my hands took the brunt of the impact. It could have been way worse as it was a face first fall. Now that is lucky.

4. So I figured after a morning like that buy a lottery ticket. Now the last time I won more than £3 on the lottery (usually £3 is on Euromillions) was September 2008. So the draw was last night, I checked the ticket this lunchtime (because I forgot) and to my surprise I am £25 richer as the ticket matched 3 numbers.

5. Then I got an email to let me know I'd won a bottle of wine for doing a job well done. The email was sent yesterday !! not that I will drink it but I know a young lady that will....

I'm still waiting to find out what the 6th lucky thing was yesterday because they say these things come in 3's so I'm due another one LOL. but even if I never find out I'm so happy with my magic Wednesday !!!

Maybe my luck has finally changed - about time !

Save our national treasure

 

What a farce !!

A sneaky change to the recipe of the chocolate and the removal of the 6th egg from the box is enough to cause outrage of a national proportion. Its not just me I saw a half a dozen newspapers talking about this today including the "Broadsheets". Seem this has rattles a few egg lovers. Personally I haven't tried this "new and improved" egg because I cant confirm its gluten free - despite hours of checking and searching the web and it having no specific gluten ingredients.

Cadbury's can't even confirm - FARCE !! The Creme Egg Twist they actually advertise as gluten free but not the egg - it might be a victim of cross contamination. Oh wait a minute - yeah its going to dance down a production line and tango with a bar of Cadburys Dairy Milk that's got Crunchie bits in it - Ha no it wont because its no longer a dairy milk shell !!!

Even more of a FARCE

So there appear to be an american version, which is a smaller egg at 34g and does not have a Dairy Milk shell, an Australian version that also doesn't have a dairy milk shell and the good old daddy from which they all sprung - the real one a whopping 40g of fondant filled gooey goodness. Can you tell I used to adore them LOL

Now they - Cadburys - well their big bad bosses Kraft foods have tampered with the recipe (no doubt to save money) and made a cheaper version. Their actual excuse - Well we don't advertise that its a dairy milk shell". what kind of excuse is that!

People who can eat them are saying they aren't as good and after what we've been used to for long and weary how could it. Even though the company ran taste tests and consumer tests. Anyone that loves them will spot the difference - pah

But to remove one from the box and sell them in fives - Hod the bus with that !! messing with the recipes one thing but the quantity well that's too much - don't sell them in odd numbers especially selling them for the same price as a six pack last year. That's daylight robbery and I hope people don't fall for this

Yes all companies are tightening belts, cutting corners but there are cost saving measures and damn right cheapness.

I can only hope egg loving Brits show Kraft exactly what we think and stop eating them in such large numbers - maybe then we can force them to at least change the recipe back !

New Beginnings

From the single seed of a thought comes a new beginning. This really is the seed for 2015. I made a few resolutions, which I don't normally do, but these are for my writing more than life itself as  big change needs to happen there and no resolution is going to make that happen.

Blogging was one of them. I like so many others am guilty of not blogging enough and for so many reasons. Family, writing constraints, editing constraints and life in general but not this year. I will find the time and the subjects, be they writing or real life.

Another was to read more. I spent a lot of time last year reading other peoples works in progress and a consequence of that was that I didn't read as many of the published books of my favourite authors as I wanted to and now I want to catch up. Whether it be on my trusty kindle or lying in bed with a hardback or a paperback attached to my hand.

We, as writers, can learn so much from a published book of an author that we love to read and the main thing for me is the point at which I become so absorbed in what I am reading that I just cant put it down. Happens every time and if I have one reader that ends up submerged with any of mine then my job is done.

I have a pile of about thirty books to read, from autobiography's to adventures, chick lit to women's fiction, crime and a few new authors that I liked the look of the story. I will get through as many as possible but it wont stop me buying new ones to add to the pile LOL there is just something about a new book. Its the smell of the paper, the crisp newness of the pages and the promise of whats to come. Some of the books I have read and will read will appear on the shelf that now populates the bottom of this blog

Even at the tender age of three we buy books for my grand daughter and read them to her. She loves it and it is something we will continue to do. You're never too young or old for a new book !!

Reflections

This year (2014) saw me publish "All For Her" and put all 5 books on Smashwords. We've given away 2260 + copies of "Another Chance In Love" in just 7 months with no marketing other than the odd post on Facebook and sold a few copies of all 5. All in all its not been a bad year.

Its not been a productive year either LOL I had these plans and I found a copy today and the year ended up nothing like it...

Plans dominate our lives and if its not plans then its To Do Lists and I am no different. I have lists for shopping, lists for jobs around the house and I have a plan for what I need to work on writing next year.

Next year will be better because I will plan it better, give myself more time to accomplish goals. I have 5 books all at various stages, but all part written, including the nano projects from 2013 and 2014. This year 2015 is the year to refocus my energies, and finish all 5 before moving on to other long term ideas that have had to take a back seat.

I allowed personal issues to overtake me this year and my focus dropped but that will not happen next year because 2015 is my year of that I am determined. I might not make it but I will damn well try.
Now, onward's to work out 2015's plan

Thoughts and Plans

Since the end of Nano, really, and a lot over the last few days I've been thinking about a direction for 2015. What are my aims? What would I like to happen? What can I plan?

Things have changed, dramatically in some ways and I have embraced them, well most of them. Some I fought against and lost. Some I won, but it cost me dear and I can honestly say I wish the end of 2014 more than I would want to re live it. 

So onward's to 2015 and it WILL be a year of difference, big changes but this time for positive reasons. Me and mine come first above all else for starters, then the few people I still call friends and after that well life has a way of changing when you least expect it. 

What can I plan? - that's simple. I plan to write every day, at least a few words and from that it will grow. If I'm not writing then I will blog because I should be doing that more as well

Other than that, bring it on !

  

To Nano or not to Nano

For the past couple of years I have participated in Nano through the month of November. To those who havent done it or heard of it its the NanoWrite challange of writing 50,000 words in 30 days. Ive done it over the past three years and completed each although last year was hard due to illness half way through. This year I am procrastinating about taking part. Seems like thats been the theme of the past 12 months - total procrastination. I have four novels all at various stages of completion, including last years Nano book, none finished and absolutely no get up and go to finish them. None. At times this year I havent cared whether I wrote another word or not.

So a big part of me is wondering whether to try Nano as a tool for getting me back into the habit of writing again or not to bother. I have a few ideas, long term ones that have been brewing, thrashing around my mind some for a few years and I wonder if I should work on one of those. But then ive tried various ideas this year into making me write continously and none have worked - so will Nano??

Honestly I don't know...

Have I fallen out of love with writing, Yes, definetely. I need to find the idea that will spark my creativity back to life and make me believe again. I worked on two very personal stories for so long they left me emotionally drained but also reaked havoc on the drive to create. I was at rock bottom when I published the last and have fought back.

So I guess I am reluctant to put so much of me into another story but I know to make a story work there needs to be character realism, reality and development and sometime I have to immerse myself in the world and leave a part of me there.

Time will tell but I hope that drive will return, I miss not crafting.  

A week of discovery

This past week I have been recharging my batteries by toddler sitting my grandadaughter. We shared 6 days of fun, a few toddler tantrum moments but lots of smiles, hugs and simple pleasures

Who couldn't love that little face !!

I have to say at the begining she was a bit iffy, wanted her Mum but an hour later and 2 episodes of Scooby Doo she was all smiles. As the days dawned she lost the quiet side and it was as if I was always there. Soon she was walving bye bye to Mum in a morning and lets go Nannie.

She is an absolute delight to hang out with and in all honesty thats what this week was. Hanging out with a youngster. The biggest smiles reserved for walks in drizzle, walking through wellie high puddles, jumping in smaller ones and high pushes on a swing and the obligatory happy meal complete with scooby doo toy !

We had our moments, she can be hyper (as all toddlers can) and turning the cartoons off while eating dinner became a trump card and a good Nannie threat.

Its wonderful to have the luxury of time. Time to sit with her and watch an episode of Scooby Doo, time to go to the park and see the smiles, to hear her singing the theme tune to her cartoons and other songs but it also lights a fire in my heart.

The world seen through the eyes of a toddler is a mystical place, full of wonderment that we all take for granted. A ride on the big bus - an everyday occurance but an adventure to her. A visit to Asda's cafe - again an adventure and a treat. Its those things that we all need to look at through fresh eyes. In a world where we all want the best of things and the latest technical gadgets its good to get back to basics and just enjoy the simple things in life

There is nothing better !!!!


 

Looking for Inspiration

This is the longest bout of writers block / can't be bothered I've had for... well since I started writing

 

 

This is definately how its felt of late I start, get about 20,000 words in and think nah i'm not sure, not feeling it, maybe it will work better in 1st person, maybe not and I give up and start something different - Im just not feeling any story and its frustrating.

 

I've tried changing genres, tried aiming and working on something for 1 person but nothing has worked. Even tried writing excercises, as in writing a few words on specific subjects just to get used to writing again and while that was successful it didnt carry through to writing a story.

 

Has me wondering if thats it ...  

There are things on my mind and severe restraints just now and I'm thinking thats not helping but writing has always been my escape, my way of coping with life and if I dont have that I may just go a little crazy.

I am about ready to tie myself to the chair, tie my arms to the desk and position the laptop so the only thing I can do is write !

Anything is worth a try...

Suggestions ????

Quiet for a while

Its been a while since I blogged and life has not been ideal to say the least.

Sore eyes which can't focus across the multiude of electronic devices we all use, phone, Kindle, TV, laptop screen to name a few all cause varying degrees of pain, temporary blindness and fuzziness added to a bad bout of measles with added conjunctivitus. All these things have made me re assess my priorities and unfortunatly some things have fallen by the wayside.

I was a member of a writing / crit site and for a while it was great but now thats gone. I simply dont have the time to read online or a hand held device and write, all while trying to look after my eyes and not agrivate them.

Its simple really - am I a writer or reader? My priority is writing, so my time leans towards writing. If my eyes improve and its a big IF, well maybe I can return but right now I need to find the time and health to push on with my passion.

Lately the changes with my eyes enforced a slow down and a lack of confidence that I could continue to write, which gave my mind too much time to think and ask whether I am indeed a writer. Time on ones hands is never a good thing. Over thinking occurs and things we are not happy with in life, become blown out of proportion. Questions creep up on you and to someone like me who doesnt speak to many people about whats bothering me, well it causes a form of mild depression, whilst going through the worst of the problem. It never gets too dark because I recognise the signs, neither am I jumping on any depression bandwagon. Anyone who speaks to me/communicates regularily with me saw the downward changes and have seen the recovery and also know that its happened a few times over the past ten years or so.

A lot has changed this year and we are only in August. Changes that no one saw coming. Some of these havent been easy, relationships have changed, some dissappeared, some broken beyond all recognition, some repaired and its not just been that. Life today is nothing like Life of last year. The bad times make the darkness worse, the good make it light. happiness is at a premium.

I have learnt a few things and recognised a pattern. I am a listener, always have been, always will be, first and foremost. I listen in the bad times, I listen in the good. One thing is have noticed is that when times are bad for others, I listen more. When times are good I am dropped, no longer required. That wont happen again.  - Do it once, more fool you, do it twice - more fool me - there wont be a third time.

I would rather retreat and dissappear ... save the heart ache, the questioning and spend my time and energy on those who matter most.

So whats next ??

Whats next is moving on, accepting Life for what it is and facing the fear of not being able to write... and pushing through. Some work may not see the light of day, some hopefully will but either way, it deserves a chance as do I!

    

Pen name or not

The thought occurred to me lately to branch out a little from my usual genres or writing but it's been suggested that for some genres I might need a pen name.

The idea is that a man’s story gets a better response if a man writes it, unless it crime then women authors do okay. As for an erotic story, well I'd def need a pen name.

The downside is that trying to build a readership is hard work, using a pen name means starting all over again, building, advertising and I'm wondering if it’s worth it for, well certainly the stories more aimed at a male readership.

Then there is the name itself, or names....mmm its a complete conundrum and something I’ve been tossing around for weeks. First names, surnames, initials – the combinations are staggering. Obviously there are a few funny ones, then a couple that are too close for comfort especially if it’s an erotic story.

I was asked if I would use a pen name because I am ashamed of writing an erotic story and that’s not it either, not in the slightest. It’s so that someone who reads one of my established books, can pick up another and know what they are getting, along with new ones in the same genre.

The more I think about it, the more I know I need at least one and I need a few suggestions !!    

Falling out of Love

Its the same with every book that I write, I get approximately half way through and hit a brick wall. People tell me its writers block but its not. I know whats to come next its just that I fall out of love with the characters and the storyline.

I think it's because it takes so long to develop characters, a feasable storyline, then start to write it all down that at some point it is inevitable that we just need a break from them. I try to do something else for a few days, anything, something but this time that urge to write the next bit hasnt come back, so I am trying something different - starting something new, rather than working on an idea thats been in my mind for a while. Maybe that will help.

I will come back to the books that are half written or half edited thats for sure, Ive done that all through my writing career. If it takes a week, a month, till next year so be it.

Maybe its more of a mental issue. I am a writer that needs things around them to be right. The house needs to be tidyish, no daily jobs outstanding and I need to be in a fairly good, stress free mood especially when I am trying to craft a romantic book. If not in the right place it shows in my word selection and then costs me more time in the editing process. I dont need quiet, far from it but I doo need to feel right. In the end who knows its just how I work I guess...

BTW Wow how cool does that sound - writing career! But its true, more than one book - thats a career. For me the most important thing is that I am writing, creating something, carefully crafting a story that I will like and if others like it, great.

Woo hoo

Seven weeks ago I decided to experiment with a new strategy when it came to getting my work out into the big bad world. I made ond of my books free. Now its free on Apple IBooks, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords and all its affiliate sites. The only one its not free on is Amazon, no matter how much I tell them its free on other sites they are reluctant to price match it. I assume they will do it eventually its just frustrating that their wheels turn at a snails pace.

Anyway.... Today I looked over the sales reports and to my surprise Ive "Sold" - given away 1700 copies of "Another Chance at Love" in the past 7 weeks with little or no marketing other than my facebook page, Twitter, and this blog. Thats astonishing and it continues to get downloads every day which to me is another surprise.

On top of that Ive got a handful of good reviews, some great and thats another big bonus. I will be forever grateful to the readers who not only read the book but left a review, that is an awesome thing to do and not many do.

The other great thing is that after a week from hell away from writing, its that it gives me belief, pushes me on and I hope that I can use that incentive to push forward and finish the next books.

I thank everyone who downloads the book, reads it and hopefully some will really like it LOL

xx

Moving Forward

A few years ago I wrote a book about my favourite west end show "We Will Rock You" following two friends around Europe as they watched it in as many European cities as tbey could in a three week period, cullminating in a last performance at the Dominion Theatre in London. Last night that run of shows, in that theatre came to an end.

One can only hope that at somepoint they decide to give it another outing and do a last UK tour or something similar, I know I'd go again even after already going 6 times.

This morning I realised something - the show isn't over, its just postponed for a while a bit like the follow up story I always planned. I could never quite hammer the plot home, never settle on exactly what I wanted it to be, where to set it and even if there should be another Queen / WWRY link.

I've run into hitches all the way with the follow up, even down to the characters. They are based on two real life people, best friends - or at least they used to be. I guess you could say that they are also postponed at the moment LOL

Any ideas are stored in a folder, labeled appropriately as FBG2 but I fear its a folder that may never be opened. I have many folders and I guess some of them look better at the moment. I hope much like my hopes that the show will come back at some point, that the friendship might move forward on some level and my ideas for the story might spring into life - I doubt it but you always gotta have hope.

Maybe one day I will read the original book and be in a place, mentally and spiritually to figure out where the follow up goes or if it should stop as it has.

Whatever the ending, last nights was awesome !

What a week

At the start of this week I was an ill sad little minion, afraid to eat anything, struggling with wheat withdrawl and worried that I couldnt handle the enforced dietary changes

By tuesday my wheat headache was still going strong, eyes fuzzy, stomach was having major issues and I couldnt figure out what to eat except vegetables and chicken - even my go too food chicken noodle soup was off the menu - thank god for coffee

Wednesday am and headaches gone, im hungry again and wondering what to have for breakfast. Filled with yoghut and oats it was time to catch up on writing but a few bad reviews had me pondering about my new project

Time to think is a good thing but too much time, 5 relative inactive days as far as creativity and thats definetely far too much to think about your ideas, plot, characters and direction

By thursday lunchtime I'd decided to change the story - which is 30K already, into first person from third because it would make the emotion much more real and later that afternoon started the process. I have to say its the best decision by far that I've made this week. Didn't stop me arguing with a box of rice crispies that night for not being gluten free in the UK LOL

And today, well today I woke with a smile, no headache, and for the first time in a long time I felt great - even the allergic gluten rash on my hand had begun to heal better and with my favourite coffee in my hand, my all time favourite band playing on my ipod (Queen) I ended this week with a smile on my face, energy in my soul and a determination to put this week behind me and move forward

No illness, change of diet has slowed me and taking wheat / gluten from my diet is just the same. Live is a chance and its how you take it that counts. Right now Im holding on with two hands and going for a ride

Big Day for Sport

Huge day for Sport and we all know I love my sport

 

First off we have F1 and the Spanish GP from Barcelona. Have to say I'm looking forward to this one - lots of teams are so close and its led to great racing at all ends of the grid.

 

Watching yesterday, lots of off road action, problems and as a non Vettal fan LOL problems for him. Its Fernando's home GP but starting from so far down and with a car thats got less straight line speed its hard to see him getting on the podium unless both Mercs have reliability issues.

 

Either way you cant really see past a Merc 1-2.

 

And its back on the BBC Live - I am a huge sky sports watcher but I do prefer the BBC's coverage of F1 (sorry SKY) its just what I prefer - pity they only cover half live.

 

 

 

Then its off to the Ethiad and Anfield for the culmination of the Premier League. This time last year the title was ours (Man Utd's) so its hard to see us not involved but after a difficult season we are doing a little better.

Anyway, I am officially torn. Do I want the noisy neighbours (Man City) to win or the scousers (Liverpool) to end up with the trophy. The inter team hatred between both is equal to some, its a bit more with the Pool than the noisy neighbours...

The fan in me will always say us ( ha ha - no surprise) - but if I had to let either win then city it is - mainly so it stays in manchester.

The neutral in me, the part always looking for omens and signs would ahve to say it should be liverpools year, with the 25 yr anniversary of Hillsborough (#JFT96) and having watched them play attractive football and deal with everything thats come their way

Hmmmmm either way it will be a day of high drama of that I am sure

So let the fun begin !