Reflections

This year (2014) saw me publish "All For Her" and put all 5 books on Smashwords. We've given away 2260 + copies of "Another Chance In Love" in just 7 months with no marketing other than the odd post on Facebook and sold a few copies of all 5. All in all its not been a bad year.

Its not been a productive year either LOL I had these plans and I found a copy today and the year ended up nothing like it...

Plans dominate our lives and if its not plans then its To Do Lists and I am no different. I have lists for shopping, lists for jobs around the house and I have a plan for what I need to work on writing next year.

Next year will be better because I will plan it better, give myself more time to accomplish goals. I have 5 books all at various stages, but all part written, including the nano projects from 2013 and 2014. This year 2015 is the year to refocus my energies, and finish all 5 before moving on to other long term ideas that have had to take a back seat.

I allowed personal issues to overtake me this year and my focus dropped but that will not happen next year because 2015 is my year of that I am determined. I might not make it but I will damn well try.
Now, onward's to work out 2015's plan

Thoughts and Plans

Since the end of Nano, really, and a lot over the last few days I've been thinking about a direction for 2015. What are my aims? What would I like to happen? What can I plan?

Things have changed, dramatically in some ways and I have embraced them, well most of them. Some I fought against and lost. Some I won, but it cost me dear and I can honestly say I wish the end of 2014 more than I would want to re live it. 

So onward's to 2015 and it WILL be a year of difference, big changes but this time for positive reasons. Me and mine come first above all else for starters, then the few people I still call friends and after that well life has a way of changing when you least expect it. 

What can I plan? - that's simple. I plan to write every day, at least a few words and from that it will grow. If I'm not writing then I will blog because I should be doing that more as well

Other than that, bring it on !

  

To Nano or not to Nano

For the past couple of years I have participated in Nano through the month of November. To those who havent done it or heard of it its the NanoWrite challange of writing 50,000 words in 30 days. Ive done it over the past three years and completed each although last year was hard due to illness half way through. This year I am procrastinating about taking part. Seems like thats been the theme of the past 12 months - total procrastination. I have four novels all at various stages of completion, including last years Nano book, none finished and absolutely no get up and go to finish them. None. At times this year I havent cared whether I wrote another word or not.

So a big part of me is wondering whether to try Nano as a tool for getting me back into the habit of writing again or not to bother. I have a few ideas, long term ones that have been brewing, thrashing around my mind some for a few years and I wonder if I should work on one of those. But then ive tried various ideas this year into making me write continously and none have worked - so will Nano??

Honestly I don't know...

Have I fallen out of love with writing, Yes, definetely. I need to find the idea that will spark my creativity back to life and make me believe again. I worked on two very personal stories for so long they left me emotionally drained but also reaked havoc on the drive to create. I was at rock bottom when I published the last and have fought back.

So I guess I am reluctant to put so much of me into another story but I know to make a story work there needs to be character realism, reality and development and sometime I have to immerse myself in the world and leave a part of me there.

Time will tell but I hope that drive will return, I miss not crafting.  

A week of discovery

This past week I have been recharging my batteries by toddler sitting my grandadaughter. We shared 6 days of fun, a few toddler tantrum moments but lots of smiles, hugs and simple pleasures

Who couldn't love that little face !!

I have to say at the begining she was a bit iffy, wanted her Mum but an hour later and 2 episodes of Scooby Doo she was all smiles. As the days dawned she lost the quiet side and it was as if I was always there. Soon she was walving bye bye to Mum in a morning and lets go Nannie.

She is an absolute delight to hang out with and in all honesty thats what this week was. Hanging out with a youngster. The biggest smiles reserved for walks in drizzle, walking through wellie high puddles, jumping in smaller ones and high pushes on a swing and the obligatory happy meal complete with scooby doo toy !

We had our moments, she can be hyper (as all toddlers can) and turning the cartoons off while eating dinner became a trump card and a good Nannie threat.

Its wonderful to have the luxury of time. Time to sit with her and watch an episode of Scooby Doo, time to go to the park and see the smiles, to hear her singing the theme tune to her cartoons and other songs but it also lights a fire in my heart.

The world seen through the eyes of a toddler is a mystical place, full of wonderment that we all take for granted. A ride on the big bus - an everyday occurance but an adventure to her. A visit to Asda's cafe - again an adventure and a treat. Its those things that we all need to look at through fresh eyes. In a world where we all want the best of things and the latest technical gadgets its good to get back to basics and just enjoy the simple things in life

There is nothing better !!!!


 

Looking for Inspiration

This is the longest bout of writers block / can't be bothered I've had for... well since I started writing

 

 

This is definately how its felt of late I start, get about 20,000 words in and think nah i'm not sure, not feeling it, maybe it will work better in 1st person, maybe not and I give up and start something different - Im just not feeling any story and its frustrating.

 

I've tried changing genres, tried aiming and working on something for 1 person but nothing has worked. Even tried writing excercises, as in writing a few words on specific subjects just to get used to writing again and while that was successful it didnt carry through to writing a story.

 

Has me wondering if thats it ...  

There are things on my mind and severe restraints just now and I'm thinking thats not helping but writing has always been my escape, my way of coping with life and if I dont have that I may just go a little crazy.

I am about ready to tie myself to the chair, tie my arms to the desk and position the laptop so the only thing I can do is write !

Anything is worth a try...

Suggestions ????

Quiet for a while

Its been a while since I blogged and life has not been ideal to say the least.

Sore eyes which can't focus across the multiude of electronic devices we all use, phone, Kindle, TV, laptop screen to name a few all cause varying degrees of pain, temporary blindness and fuzziness added to a bad bout of measles with added conjunctivitus. All these things have made me re assess my priorities and unfortunatly some things have fallen by the wayside.

I was a member of a writing / crit site and for a while it was great but now thats gone. I simply dont have the time to read online or a hand held device and write, all while trying to look after my eyes and not agrivate them.

Its simple really - am I a writer or reader? My priority is writing, so my time leans towards writing. If my eyes improve and its a big IF, well maybe I can return but right now I need to find the time and health to push on with my passion.

Lately the changes with my eyes enforced a slow down and a lack of confidence that I could continue to write, which gave my mind too much time to think and ask whether I am indeed a writer. Time on ones hands is never a good thing. Over thinking occurs and things we are not happy with in life, become blown out of proportion. Questions creep up on you and to someone like me who doesnt speak to many people about whats bothering me, well it causes a form of mild depression, whilst going through the worst of the problem. It never gets too dark because I recognise the signs, neither am I jumping on any depression bandwagon. Anyone who speaks to me/communicates regularily with me saw the downward changes and have seen the recovery and also know that its happened a few times over the past ten years or so.

A lot has changed this year and we are only in August. Changes that no one saw coming. Some of these havent been easy, relationships have changed, some dissappeared, some broken beyond all recognition, some repaired and its not just been that. Life today is nothing like Life of last year. The bad times make the darkness worse, the good make it light. happiness is at a premium.

I have learnt a few things and recognised a pattern. I am a listener, always have been, always will be, first and foremost. I listen in the bad times, I listen in the good. One thing is have noticed is that when times are bad for others, I listen more. When times are good I am dropped, no longer required. That wont happen again.  - Do it once, more fool you, do it twice - more fool me - there wont be a third time.

I would rather retreat and dissappear ... save the heart ache, the questioning and spend my time and energy on those who matter most.

So whats next ??

Whats next is moving on, accepting Life for what it is and facing the fear of not being able to write... and pushing through. Some work may not see the light of day, some hopefully will but either way, it deserves a chance as do I!

    

Pen name or not

The thought occurred to me lately to branch out a little from my usual genres or writing but it's been suggested that for some genres I might need a pen name.

The idea is that a man’s story gets a better response if a man writes it, unless it crime then women authors do okay. As for an erotic story, well I'd def need a pen name.

The downside is that trying to build a readership is hard work, using a pen name means starting all over again, building, advertising and I'm wondering if it’s worth it for, well certainly the stories more aimed at a male readership.

Then there is the name itself, or names....mmm its a complete conundrum and something I’ve been tossing around for weeks. First names, surnames, initials – the combinations are staggering. Obviously there are a few funny ones, then a couple that are too close for comfort especially if it’s an erotic story.

I was asked if I would use a pen name because I am ashamed of writing an erotic story and that’s not it either, not in the slightest. It’s so that someone who reads one of my established books, can pick up another and know what they are getting, along with new ones in the same genre.

The more I think about it, the more I know I need at least one and I need a few suggestions !!