A week of discovery

This past week I have been recharging my batteries by toddler sitting my grandadaughter. We shared 6 days of fun, a few toddler tantrum moments but lots of smiles, hugs and simple pleasures

Who couldn't love that little face !!

I have to say at the begining she was a bit iffy, wanted her Mum but an hour later and 2 episodes of Scooby Doo she was all smiles. As the days dawned she lost the quiet side and it was as if I was always there. Soon she was walving bye bye to Mum in a morning and lets go Nannie.

She is an absolute delight to hang out with and in all honesty thats what this week was. Hanging out with a youngster. The biggest smiles reserved for walks in drizzle, walking through wellie high puddles, jumping in smaller ones and high pushes on a swing and the obligatory happy meal complete with scooby doo toy !

We had our moments, she can be hyper (as all toddlers can) and turning the cartoons off while eating dinner became a trump card and a good Nannie threat.

Its wonderful to have the luxury of time. Time to sit with her and watch an episode of Scooby Doo, time to go to the park and see the smiles, to hear her singing the theme tune to her cartoons and other songs but it also lights a fire in my heart.

The world seen through the eyes of a toddler is a mystical place, full of wonderment that we all take for granted. A ride on the big bus - an everyday occurance but an adventure to her. A visit to Asda's cafe - again an adventure and a treat. Its those things that we all need to look at through fresh eyes. In a world where we all want the best of things and the latest technical gadgets its good to get back to basics and just enjoy the simple things in life

There is nothing better !!!!


 

Looking for Inspiration

This is the longest bout of writers block / can't be bothered I've had for... well since I started writing

 

 

This is definately how its felt of late I start, get about 20,000 words in and think nah i'm not sure, not feeling it, maybe it will work better in 1st person, maybe not and I give up and start something different - Im just not feeling any story and its frustrating.

 

I've tried changing genres, tried aiming and working on something for 1 person but nothing has worked. Even tried writing excercises, as in writing a few words on specific subjects just to get used to writing again and while that was successful it didnt carry through to writing a story.

 

Has me wondering if thats it ...  

There are things on my mind and severe restraints just now and I'm thinking thats not helping but writing has always been my escape, my way of coping with life and if I dont have that I may just go a little crazy.

I am about ready to tie myself to the chair, tie my arms to the desk and position the laptop so the only thing I can do is write !

Anything is worth a try...

Suggestions ????

Quiet for a while

Its been a while since I blogged and life has not been ideal to say the least.

Sore eyes which can't focus across the multiude of electronic devices we all use, phone, Kindle, TV, laptop screen to name a few all cause varying degrees of pain, temporary blindness and fuzziness added to a bad bout of measles with added conjunctivitus. All these things have made me re assess my priorities and unfortunatly some things have fallen by the wayside.

I was a member of a writing / crit site and for a while it was great but now thats gone. I simply dont have the time to read online or a hand held device and write, all while trying to look after my eyes and not agrivate them.

Its simple really - am I a writer or reader? My priority is writing, so my time leans towards writing. If my eyes improve and its a big IF, well maybe I can return but right now I need to find the time and health to push on with my passion.

Lately the changes with my eyes enforced a slow down and a lack of confidence that I could continue to write, which gave my mind too much time to think and ask whether I am indeed a writer. Time on ones hands is never a good thing. Over thinking occurs and things we are not happy with in life, become blown out of proportion. Questions creep up on you and to someone like me who doesnt speak to many people about whats bothering me, well it causes a form of mild depression, whilst going through the worst of the problem. It never gets too dark because I recognise the signs, neither am I jumping on any depression bandwagon. Anyone who speaks to me/communicates regularily with me saw the downward changes and have seen the recovery and also know that its happened a few times over the past ten years or so.

A lot has changed this year and we are only in August. Changes that no one saw coming. Some of these havent been easy, relationships have changed, some dissappeared, some broken beyond all recognition, some repaired and its not just been that. Life today is nothing like Life of last year. The bad times make the darkness worse, the good make it light. happiness is at a premium.

I have learnt a few things and recognised a pattern. I am a listener, always have been, always will be, first and foremost. I listen in the bad times, I listen in the good. One thing is have noticed is that when times are bad for others, I listen more. When times are good I am dropped, no longer required. That wont happen again.  - Do it once, more fool you, do it twice - more fool me - there wont be a third time.

I would rather retreat and dissappear ... save the heart ache, the questioning and spend my time and energy on those who matter most.

So whats next ??

Whats next is moving on, accepting Life for what it is and facing the fear of not being able to write... and pushing through. Some work may not see the light of day, some hopefully will but either way, it deserves a chance as do I!

    

Pen name or not

The thought occurred to me lately to branch out a little from my usual genres or writing but it's been suggested that for some genres I might need a pen name.

The idea is that a man’s story gets a better response if a man writes it, unless it crime then women authors do okay. As for an erotic story, well I'd def need a pen name.

The downside is that trying to build a readership is hard work, using a pen name means starting all over again, building, advertising and I'm wondering if it’s worth it for, well certainly the stories more aimed at a male readership.

Then there is the name itself, or names....mmm its a complete conundrum and something I’ve been tossing around for weeks. First names, surnames, initials – the combinations are staggering. Obviously there are a few funny ones, then a couple that are too close for comfort especially if it’s an erotic story.

I was asked if I would use a pen name because I am ashamed of writing an erotic story and that’s not it either, not in the slightest. It’s so that someone who reads one of my established books, can pick up another and know what they are getting, along with new ones in the same genre.

The more I think about it, the more I know I need at least one and I need a few suggestions !!    

Falling out of Love

Its the same with every book that I write, I get approximately half way through and hit a brick wall. People tell me its writers block but its not. I know whats to come next its just that I fall out of love with the characters and the storyline.

I think it's because it takes so long to develop characters, a feasable storyline, then start to write it all down that at some point it is inevitable that we just need a break from them. I try to do something else for a few days, anything, something but this time that urge to write the next bit hasnt come back, so I am trying something different - starting something new, rather than working on an idea thats been in my mind for a while. Maybe that will help.

I will come back to the books that are half written or half edited thats for sure, Ive done that all through my writing career. If it takes a week, a month, till next year so be it.

Maybe its more of a mental issue. I am a writer that needs things around them to be right. The house needs to be tidyish, no daily jobs outstanding and I need to be in a fairly good, stress free mood especially when I am trying to craft a romantic book. If not in the right place it shows in my word selection and then costs me more time in the editing process. I dont need quiet, far from it but I doo need to feel right. In the end who knows its just how I work I guess...

BTW Wow how cool does that sound - writing career! But its true, more than one book - thats a career. For me the most important thing is that I am writing, creating something, carefully crafting a story that I will like and if others like it, great.

Woo hoo

Seven weeks ago I decided to experiment with a new strategy when it came to getting my work out into the big bad world. I made ond of my books free. Now its free on Apple IBooks, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords and all its affiliate sites. The only one its not free on is Amazon, no matter how much I tell them its free on other sites they are reluctant to price match it. I assume they will do it eventually its just frustrating that their wheels turn at a snails pace.

Anyway.... Today I looked over the sales reports and to my surprise Ive "Sold" - given away 1700 copies of "Another Chance at Love" in the past 7 weeks with little or no marketing other than my facebook page, Twitter, and this blog. Thats astonishing and it continues to get downloads every day which to me is another surprise.

On top of that Ive got a handful of good reviews, some great and thats another big bonus. I will be forever grateful to the readers who not only read the book but left a review, that is an awesome thing to do and not many do.

The other great thing is that after a week from hell away from writing, its that it gives me belief, pushes me on and I hope that I can use that incentive to push forward and finish the next books.

I thank everyone who downloads the book, reads it and hopefully some will really like it LOL

xx

Moving Forward

A few years ago I wrote a book about my favourite west end show "We Will Rock You" following two friends around Europe as they watched it in as many European cities as tbey could in a three week period, cullminating in a last performance at the Dominion Theatre in London. Last night that run of shows, in that theatre came to an end.

One can only hope that at somepoint they decide to give it another outing and do a last UK tour or something similar, I know I'd go again even after already going 6 times.

This morning I realised something - the show isn't over, its just postponed for a while a bit like the follow up story I always planned. I could never quite hammer the plot home, never settle on exactly what I wanted it to be, where to set it and even if there should be another Queen / WWRY link.

I've run into hitches all the way with the follow up, even down to the characters. They are based on two real life people, best friends - or at least they used to be. I guess you could say that they are also postponed at the moment LOL

Any ideas are stored in a folder, labeled appropriately as FBG2 but I fear its a folder that may never be opened. I have many folders and I guess some of them look better at the moment. I hope much like my hopes that the show will come back at some point, that the friendship might move forward on some level and my ideas for the story might spring into life - I doubt it but you always gotta have hope.

Maybe one day I will read the original book and be in a place, mentally and spiritually to figure out where the follow up goes or if it should stop as it has.

Whatever the ending, last nights was awesome !